Choices Page 2

  “When you are brave enough,” he said slowly. “Come and visit me then.”

  She looked at him for a while, and he waited while she made up her mind.

  Meeting her had been an unexpected delight, and as they spent time together, he started to understand her. She was bright and curious about everything around her. Funny and interesting, but sometimes thoughtful and guarded in a way that made her seem distant. And just beneath the surface, there was so much pent up energy and emotions.

  It would be a pleasure to watch her realize that she still was that woman she thought she’d lost over the years. She only needed to let herself be free, and she’d figure it out.

  “Yes, Jacob,” she said, and for a split second, that energy flashed in her eyes. “I’ll visit.” Then her smile turned to laughter, and she raised her glass. “Unless I plop straight into the ocean, in which case you’ll have to come to my rescue before the crabs start to nibble on my toes.”

  Oh yeah, he decided as he laughed with her.

  When she came for a visit, then she’d be ready, and he’d totally meddle.

  Chapter Two

  Peregrin Took

  Nina

  “Put some perfume in your cleavage, buy a bunch of condoms, and go get laid.”

  I tried not to wince as I laughed with my friend Layla. We’d loaded my bags into the car, and since my elderly neighbor was approaching with her small and fluffy dog, I closed the trunk firmly and did not tell Layla that the only thing in her statement that I actually knew how to do was the perfume part.

  “Champagne?” Layla asked as we were turning around the corner.

  “Prosecco,” I said and twisted my head around to take a last look at my place.

  The house I’d bought was amazing, and I loved it with a vengeance that still surprised me. It was located in a part of town where my now former friends rarely went because it wasn’t the upscale suburban setting with huge houses and enormous backyards they were used to. I’d wanted to move to the small neighborhood already back when Dave and I got married. He hadn’t wanted to live there, and I’d given in, but now I’d bought a place there.

  Over the years, the slightly worn-down area had gentrified, but not much. It had also kept its charm as it slowly changed from an eclectic hippie community to a vibrant and diverse neighborhood where older people of the flower-power generation happily mingled with artists and young hipsters in coffee shops and vegan restaurants.

  The house was perfect for me. Nothing needed to be done before I moved in, but oh my, the possibilities. The kitchen was okay but slightly old, and the countertops needed to be sanded down. The upstairs bathroom was a bit small but it worked, although it was fugly, so it would be the first thing I upgraded. The backyard was simply a piece of grass, but I was planning to upgrade that too, and build a deck just by the back door. The combined living and dining room downstairs was perfect, and my daughters loved the place almost as much as I did, which admittedly could be since I gave them an unlimited budget to decorate their rooms.

  And then the electricity stopped working.

  I’d known I’d have to have it re-wired and had even found a local contractor called Bobby Sunshine who would do it, but before he had time to start, the house went dark on me.

  Layla had offered her guest room but told me I should go away for a week on a mini-vacation, while Bobby sorted out my issues.

  “I’ll take care of Peaches for you. Take a break and go back to that place up the coast, sweetie. You love it there, and who knows? You might meet another man who makes you happy, and hopefully, it’ll be someone more your age this time.”

  “Lay, honey,” I said with a grin. “I don’t need to meet someone to be happy.”

  And I didn’t.

  I’d been on my own for a few months and had needed the space, so I ended up spending most of my time at home with my daughters if they were visiting, or just with my dog.

  “I’m not saying that you should go looking for Mr. Right,” Layla said, bringing the topic up again when we stood in her enormous and shiny kitchen. She poured us Prosecco and added cheekily, “Mr. Right now, though...”

  She trailed off and wiggled her brows.

  “Not ready for it,” I protested. “Later, maybe.”

  “Don’t wait for too long, sweetie. Now that you’re finally rid of Dave you should –”

  “I thought you liked Dave?” I cut her off with a frown.

  “Oh, honey...” She smiled a little but shrugged, and went on, “I liked Dave with Nina. We have nothing in common, but he’s not a bad guy, and he was what you wanted, so I liked him for you. Then you weren’t happy, so I liked him less, and now...”

  She shrugged again and took a sip of wine.

  “He is a good guy,” I confirmed. “But, oh God, how good it feels to be just me. It feels like I’m on vacation.”

  “So, go shag the pool-boy,” she said and raised a brow.

  “Jesus,” I squeaked.

  “Or him,” she agreed and nodded sagely.

  I choked on my Prosecco, and she started laughing so loudly her husband walked into the kitchen to see what we were doing. He poured himself a glass and walked away, assuring us that he would be perfectly fine without hearing details of my upcoming debauchery.

  ***

  “Buy a bunch of condoms and go get laid.”

  Why the hell couldn’t I get the stupid, stupid words to stop popping into my head?

  I was running the trail I’d walked with Jacob along the ocean, and it was early in the morning, so there weren’t a lot of people. The ones who were there looked at me as if I was crazy, and maybe I was, but I’d been running since I was six, and nothing cleared my mind like moving my arms and legs in a steady rhythm with the pulse beating in my ears.

  I wasn’t even sure I wanted to have sex. I was a healthy woman, which meant that from time to time, I was also horny, but I could take care of myself. I’d bought my first vibrator two days after moving into my new home, and used it.

  Engaging in an awkward bump and grind with some fumbling man didn’t seem sexy to me, so I didn’t feel like it. I had turned down a few acquaintances who wanted to take me out to dinner and had focused on creating a home for my girls and myself instead.

  When I reached the end of the trail, I stopped to watch the breathtaking view for a few seconds, but then I turned and started making my way back.

  Layla had told me to buy a bunch of condoms, but I wasn’t even sure how to do that for Christ’s sake. I was on the pill, but there was no way I’d sleep with anyone without additional protection. And since there was no way I’d actually sleep with anyone at all, I had no need to buy condoms.

  I pushed back a frown and increased my speed. The beach where the trail started was not too far away, and I still had plenty of energy.

  It wasn’t as if I couldn’t figure out where to acquire the damned things, but there were different sizes, weren’t there? What if I bought a regular size, and the man in question turned out to be well endowed? On the other hand, if I bought a bigger size and that turned out to be too large, then he might be offended.

  Perhaps they sold multipacks with a variety of options.

  Like a veritable buffet for sluts?

  I started laughing as I ran down the stairs, which made a couple step to the side and grin at me.

  “Have fun!” the young man shouted, and I waved at them as I pushed forward over the sand, all my focus on getting the last drops of energy out of my legs as I made my way to where I’d put a towel and a water bottle.

  I leaned forward with my hands on my knees and sucked in air, still smiling widely, although by then mostly from how the blood pumped through my system. Then I checked my watch and nodded with satisfaction. I might be fifty-one years old, but damn, I could still run.

  I’d rolled out the towel to start stretching when a big and absolutely gorgeous dog came running toward me. It had a huge doggy-grin on its face and a tail that was wagging furiously
, so I got down on my knees with a hand stretched out.

  “Hey there,” I said softly.

  The dog walked up to me and sniffed my hand.

  “Sorry,” a man huffed out as he joined us on a half-jog, which judging from his hint of a beer gut seemed like something he didn’t do very often. “He’s very friendly.”

  “You’re supposed to have him on a leash,” I said.

  I hadn’t been scared, but others might have been, and there were signs clearly stating that dogs weren’t allowed to run around freely.

  “He slipped away,” the man said and raised a black leash.

  I looked at the sturdy carabiner and raised my brows, but before I could comment on the impossibility of this to happen, we were joined by another man.

  “Hey,” he growled and reached for the leash. “Why the hell did you let Pippin loose?”

  I looked up at the newcomer who was busy glaring at what I assumed was his friend and consequently ignoring me, which was good because I was pretty sure my jaw dropped.

  Holy smoking hot were the words suddenly bouncing around uncontrollably in my head.

  He was dressed in a tight tee which showed off his lean torso to perfection, and his sharp features weren’t movie-star beautiful, but there was something about him that just hit a chord inside me, and a slow, soft hum started to vibrate in my belly.

  “Sorry, bud. He slipped away,” the other man said sheepishly.

  The tall man who seemed to be the dog owner turned his narrow face to look at the carabiner and did the same brow rise as I had done. Then he looked back at his friend and something passed between them.

  “I’m sorry,” the tall man finally said to me with a wince. “My dog is suddenly Houdini, apparently.”

  “Not a problem,” I said with a grin because that had been kind of funny. “I’ve been away from my own darling for a few days, and I’ve missed that blast of dog-breath.”

  Our eyes locked, and a slow grin spread on his face.

  “Yeah,” he said quietly.

  The dog did not like the lack of attention and butted my hand a few times to indicate that he wanted more pets and cuddles.

  “Aren’t you a pretty boy?” I crooned as I dug my hands into the soft fur. “Is that Pippin as in Peregrin Took?”

  “Yeah,” he repeated, and his grin widened into a smile. “You like Tolkien?”

  “What’s not to like?” I asked, and he started laughing.

  “You don’t look like a Tolkien fan,” the other man said.

  “What does a Tolkien fan look like?” I asked, pretty sure I knew the answer because I’d heard it my whole life.

  “Nerdy.”

  Yes. That was the general and also hugely incorrect answer.

  Pippin’s owner snorted out something unintelligible, our eyes met again, and I felt an odd sense of connection as if we already knew each other.

  Then I got up from my crouch but winced a little when my stiff calves hurt.

  “We interrupted your stretch,” he said.

  “Yes, I’d better get back to that, and I’m sure you have...”

  I trailed off and waved my hand vaguely, indicating unknown activities they could embark upon.

  “Well, actually,” the first man said, “We –”

  “Jeff,” the dog-owning and Tolkien reading man cut him off. “Get.”

  Then he clipped the leash on Pippin’s collar, nodded at me and walked away. The other man immediately followed, and they sat down some distance away from me.

  I tried to pretend that they weren’t there as I worked my way through my routine and tried even harder to not feel just a little bit stupid for adding a few yoga poses to it.

  A handstand could be considered stretching, couldn’t it?

  ***

  I strolled slowly down the street toward a restaurant reviews all over the internet had assured me would combine good food with a relaxed atmosphere.

  I’d deliberately waited until it was past the happy hour, although watching the people walking toward the same restaurant I’d picked made me feel like screaming a general query to the universe, asking if every goddamned person in the world were part of a couple.

  Everyone except me, of course.

  An uncomfortable feeling of nervousness settled in my gut, and I wondered if I shouldn’t just turn back, get something at the supermarket, and eat it in my hotel room. I was used to eating alone, but walking into a busy place in the evening without the shield my rings had provided me with for the past twenty years suddenly felt like something I wasn’t entirely ready for.

  “Hell, no,” I told myself and remembered how Jacob had laughed when I told him I was back where we’d met.

  He'd talked me into going out for the night and had chuckled when I told him I really wanted to try this restaurant because of the raving reviews. Knowing that he'd ask me what the food was like made me straighten my back and open the door.

  The place was full, and there was a waiting list.

  “It’ll be at least an hour,” the waitress said and glanced at me through her way too long, way too black, and very fake eyelashes.

  “Okay,” I said, “That’s –”

  “Hey, running lady!” I turned reflexively and saw to my surprise the slightly chubby man from the beach approach me. “I’m Jeff,” he said and pointed at himself. “From the beach this morning?”

  “Hey there,” I said with a smile. “Of course, I remember. Are you looking for Pippin again?”

  He started laughing and shared that the dog was snoring at the house they’d rented.

  “Are you eating here?” he asked.

  “Nah,” I said with a shrug. “Don’t want to wait for an hour to get seated so I’ll –”

  “We have space at our table,” he cut me off and added with a silly wink, “We’re a bunch of lonely guys in need of some pretty company.”

  His sweet smile and general happiness took away my awkwardness, and since I was both hungry and blocking the entrance, I thought that what the hell? I’d eat quickly if things got awkward.

  Two other men at the table hadn’t been on the beach, and they introduced themselves as Len and Harry. Then Pippin’s owner scooted further into the booth and indicated that I was to sit next to him.

  His name was Matthias, and there was something in his eyes that again made me feel as if we knew each other.

  “You’re Nina Petrie,” the man who had introduced himself as Len said with a grin.

  I narrowed my eyes and tried to remember if I’d met him before somewhere, but I was pretty sure I would have recognized him. He looked like someone who spent a lot of time outside, judging by his tan and the way lines fanned out from his soft, brown eyes.

  “Yes, I am,” I said since he’d gotten my name right, but raised my brows in a silent question.

  “I used to work with Teddy Winthorpe, and he brought his wife to corporate dinners sometimes. I like Layla, and we ended up next to each other more than once.”

  “Ah,” I said with a grin because I suddenly knew who he was too. “Lay likes you too. You’re Leonard Jackson.”

  “That’s me.”

  “You managed the spare parts business but didn’t like it.”

  “Still don’t, so I changed jobs,” he said with a shrug. “Have known that guy forever, and finally caved in, so I work for him now.” He twitched his head toward Matthias. “Vice President, Supply Chain Operations. Much better than managing spare parts stock, however big it was.”

  “Good for you,” I said.

  He asked about my job and smiled when I shared that I was a Vice President too, although my area was finance and digital transformation. Jeff chimed in that he also was in finance, and suddenly we had plenty to talk about, so the dreaded awkwardness never happened, and it was a surprisingly pleasant dinner.

  When the other men were debating some sports event or other, which was something I knew little about, I zoned out and jolted slightly when Matthias asked about my daughter
s. We talked for a little while about our kids, and it was sweet to see the pride in his eyes when he mentioned how his daughter was applying for an internship. Then we moved on to talk about his three years old and full of energy golden retriever, and my sweet lady who only managed a very slow walk around the block these days.

  “I know she’s old, so she’ll...” I swallowed and went on valiantly, “You know? But the girls are away for college, so it’s just her and me now. I know I’ll have to let go of her eventually, but as long as she’s got a good life, I won’t.”

  “Of course not,” he said calmly. “You and your kids’ father aren’t together anymore?”

  “Split up a few months ago.”

  His brows went up a little, and I tried to smile as if admitting that it didn’t bother me at all, even though it still felt a little like failure.

  “Are you enjoying your freedom?”

  “God, yes,” I said with a smile that I didn’t have to fake. “I enjoy being alone.”

  “Ouch.”

  He must have seen the surprise on my face, and a smile lit up his pale eyes.

  “What?” I asked when he didn’t explain, and he leaned in closer.

  “Fifty percent of the men at this table really want you to not be alone in the immediate future,” he murmured.

  It took a few seconds for me to get what he meant, and I tried hard to look worldly and blasé, but I couldn’t stop my eyes from widening.

  “Really?” I said, which came out in a mini squeak and not at all like the haughty response I’d aimed for.

  He chuckled as he leaned in again to murmur, “Don’t worry, we’re all good guys, so no one will push until you give the go-ahead.”

  Huh?

  I had been single for a very short time and had no clue how to give the go-ahead to anything. Or how to not give the go-ahead by accident. Matthias must have seen the confusion on my face because he started laughing, and I laughed too, although mostly since I had absolutely nothing to say except for things I suspected would make me sound like a fool.

  “Share the joke?” Len asked with a grin.